Insulin oh Insulin

Thursday, August 01, 2013


Last Tues Doc Chantek requested me to do insulin level blood test.
She suspecting that the miscarriage is caused by high level of insulin and not because i missed the pills for 2 days.
Results are back today and yes, Insulin is the culprit. Dem you Insulin. 
High Insulin is also related to PCOS which is also another reason for infertility.

You are such a defect human, Mel. sigh.
But no worries, nothing is impossible and to cure this i just need to stabilize my Insulin level which means, DIET and exercise. [and Doc Chantek is prescribing me with meds ..]
Apa lagi Mel, move your butt and run!

So basically, I need to launch a Low Carb, high Protein plan & Low GI plan.  
Therefore, Raya, you just have to go away..? huk huk .. no eating frenzy this Raya..

Food to avoid :-
High level carbs food - Rice, pasta, white bread, potatoes, 
High sugar food - cakes, pastries, soft drinks, dried fruits

Food to double :-
Eggs, Fish, white meat - no skins, Legumes & beans, Low fat milk & dairy, Leafy greens, brown rice, Wholewheat pasta & bread, and nuts. [agh.. I'm going nuts!]

But, it is for my own good. I need to exercise and reduce these EXTRA FATS.
Indirectly, it is good for me. Like it or not, I just have to do it.

Let's kill 2 birds with 1 stone, shall we?

For more information on Insulin Level & PCOS related, you can visit the links below.

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I'm in trouble .. (again)

why? I'm hooked with a new craft [or technique..]

Click Image to go to source.

Isn't it pretty???? It's called Soutache Jewelry.
Well, I've known about this type of jewelry way back when i stumble upon this talented lady, Dori Csengeri who made hand embroidered jewelry.
Owh, go to her website and drool..

I want to have a go with it, but I'm not sure if i can find the Soutache Braids here. To import, well, it has to come from either the UK [with slang] or Europe.

That's where the the hype are. And i haven't found any China supplier that are selling these braids in particular.
But I haven't drop by to Bunga Reben yet. Usually, they will have nearly everything when it comes to embroidery, beading, etc. So, maybe I'll shall have a go there first before starts to order online.
Argh.. the agonizing of having to pinch in next month.. till I start my new job.

Till then! I'm gonna go and drool on more Soutache.
















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Ramadan's Miracle ... ?!? - Pooof!

Monday, July 22, 2013


I wrote these on Tuesday, 16 July 2013. I was happy, scared, excited and over the moon.
Unfortunately, I celebrated too soon.
My miracle was taken away on Friday, 19th July 2013.
I started to bleed, panicked, went to see Doc Chantek on Saturday. It was her off-day, but for me, she came in. Just to see me. I am so grateful to Doc Chantek.
How she cared for her patients and she is so kind. I'm just blessed and happy that I choose her to be my Doc.
Had a jab to sustain it, but it didn't work. Hubby and MIL keep saying, don't worry, be strong, the baby will make it. But at that point of time, I just don't feel pregnant anymore.
My tummy felt empty and my breast felt heavy no more.

Sunday nite, it shredded. Officially, miscarried.
Long wailing on Friday didn't helped at all. Tears keep on falling on Saturday. But by break fast time, I told myself, no point of crying.

Post-mortem analysis with Doc Chantek today.
My fault. Missing the pills, too much walking, pushing myself to do the house work, and pasar ramadhan walking.

Altho I am an active person, I can't be one when I am expecting. During 1st trimester, to be specific.
Owh, how I envy those people. Lucky women!

I still feel blessed. I have a great Doc, her nurse is a caring lady and atleast now I know, I don't have to go for IVF! Woho!

Hope is still there.

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Ok, how do I start?

I have tendered my resignation. I know I’ve said this is my dream job, I love the schedule, etc..etc.. but I can’t just sit still and do nothing day by day or keep calling the same set of people that don’t even bother to return or pick up my calls. EPG is just not the business for ISR. Sad that this is not working out because I love the schedule! But, hey, life must go on. I’m hoping to start after raya, so that I will a nice, long break…. A long break is indeed needed.

On TTC update, 1st blood test came back with low HcG reading. Scheduled for another blood test 2 days after the 1st blood test. I was devastated, but I kinda determined not to lose hope. Went out to the pharmacy after doing some reading, and I came to conclusion, maybe I need to boost my folate & AF range. I know Internet is not supposed to be your best reference guide, but, hey, I was desperate. I got to know about pre-natal vits, rushed out to buy some. I know, it sounds rushed, but, again, I was desperate. Mr Hubster didn’t take the news well, but hey, I was more pressured than him.

For the 2nd blood test, I dragged him with me to the hospital. It was not necessary, but I just want him to feel the pressure that I was in, all the agonizing of waiting. And you know what; the machine broke down on that day. That day! Out of any day in a year, it has to break down on that day. We got know after 2pm when the result didn’t come in at 12pm. The hospital said they will try to get it in by late afternoon, but it didn’t come! Imagine, we have to wait for another day for the results? Agonizing.
The next morning, Ida, Doc Chantek’s nurse called. I was ecstatic but scared at the same time. The reading is still low but there is hope. I just need to keep up with my meds and to slow down. Slow down? Guh, partially impossible, but do-able, well, I have to make it possible.

I tricked Mr Hubster when he asked me about the result. I did a cold, straight face and said “nothing”.
What do you mean, nothing? Nothing in none or nothing is wrong? Which nothing?”
Nothing lah..”
Which nothing?”
Nothing…..”
Stop playing, which Nothing?” he nearly lost his cool. Hihihi ..
Nothing is wrong. It’s ok, it stayed.”

His face changed, he was in tears. I know, I’m bad, but hey, I just want him to feel the pressure too.  
But you know, I don’t want to rock the boat, float the hopes. MIL been calling since Friday, but I told her a white lie. I said the machine is still broken, no results yet. I’m scared; I don’t feel like telling yet. I’m not confident [yeah, I know.. but I am.. ]  There is more to this.

As of now, HPT has given us the answer that we wanted, strengthen our desire [after 1 BFN results..sigh..]
But still, I want to wait for another few weeks. Till we meet with Doc Chantek and maybe get a scan of it. I need a proof; a concrete proof.

As of now, He has answered my prayers. A Ramadhan miracle, it humbles me, and making me regretting how I keep forgetting Him in my day-to-day life.

How this will change my life?
Owh, ask me again in 3 month time. There will be so many changes, and I just hope I can live up to it.

As of now, I just feel blessed.


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I've reached my borderline.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I need to rant.

Past few days the sex-blogger-couple made headline again with their Selamat Berbuka Puasa serving Bak Kut Teh. I find it very offensive.

And I’m sorry, but I feel like some are crossing the borderline of respect lately.
I have encountered non-Muslim friends who offered me beer, with a reason hey, that Malay dude drinks, why can’t you?
Also some planning to trick me with pork, also with a reason, I know a Malay guy who ate pork. He is doing just fine, why can’t you?

For example I know a guy who will go for Friday Prayers every week, but, indulging wine & beers after office hour. What? I do not know which school he attends to. But, the non-muslims around me, who knows him, asked me. If he can, why can't you? 

To me, that is generalizing me with those who choose that particular lifestyle.
I choose not to. I'm living the way of life that I've been taught about since young. 

How would a Buddhist or a Hindu feel if they are being offered with beef? Wouldn’t they feel offended too? It’s the same.

Don’t come and tell me that I am being bias; I’m doing an unfair assessment. How would I feel when I am being assessed that way? Because of your choice of lifestyle, I am being assessed unfairly. How is that fair for me?

And what angers me more is the one who said that I am doing an unfair assessment is Malay, which I believe born as a Muslim. Well, how your lifestyle is, that is your choice.  

I am not saying that they are bad people because their choice of lifestyle. No.
Some are good people, good friend.

But, if you are very adamant about your lifestyle, I am also very adamant about mine. And I find it offensive. So, don’t come and tell me that I’ve made an unfair assessment.


I’m sorry, but there is a limit and boundaries of being an Open Minded person.

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Come what may...

Sunday, July 07, 2013

This morning he said to me, baby, i'm scared.
If he is scared, how do u think i feel? I'm scared too.
I know to other people that have made TTC as their main schedule, doing an IUI is nothing.
But to us, it is a big thing. We never really talked about it before, or put a real effort into it.
We were just hoping it will happen as we go along. But unfortunately, it never came for nearly 8 years.
So, we said to ourselves, well, we'll do it for real this year. We'll invest time and money into it.
And we did.

Tuesday, a day before Ramadhan.
Come what may. I know i might crash, if it didn't happen.
But what more can i say. Other people tried for 3 or 4 times and i'm hoping for a miracle.

I hope i will get a Ramadhan miracle. I know, i will.
Thank you Allah, for the Ramadhan miracle.

Amin... 

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About This Blog

A collection of thought by dreamer with 1001 dreams and things to do.
A salaryman by day and a crazy crafter by night.
Current obsession : glass painting, clay, jewelry making, upcyling craft, cooking, baking, hmm.. too many to list down!

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